In the 1930s, Sir John Betjeman wrote a poem calling for bombs to fall on it, in 2001 David Brent poked fun at it in The Office and in 2024, the Telegraph named it the UK’s ‘ugliest town’. Now, it’s been branded as ‘the unhappiest place to live’ on Rightmove. Times change and public attitudes evolve, but everyone seems to keep agreeing that Slough is an absolutely awful place.
The town’s Brutalist architecture, decaying high street, widespread poverty and crime aren’t the stuff of many poets’ dreams and only this week, the Daily Mail said that Slough is ‘plagued with drugs, boarded up shops and even human faeces’. It does sound a bit short of ideal, doesn’t it?
It’s Slough that keeps your phone working, your WiFi connected and gets you from A to B
The fact it’s just down the road from beautiful Windsor only seems to make Slough seem more ugly. It’s quite a contrast. But as someone who lives in a village between Slough and Windsor and knows both towns very well, I’m here to tell you that the ugly duckling of the area has more swanlike qualities than you might think.
The people of Windsor are very, very pleased with themselves. Their town’s got the famous castle and locals can sometimes spot the King or other royals being driven in or out an armour-plated Range Rovers. There are union flags, Barbour jackets and loud red trousers wherever you look, and Eton College is just a self-satisfied stroll away.
But just a few miles along from that pomp and comfort is the hard-working town of Slough. With its sleeves rolled up, it’s got Europe’s biggest trading estate, which is a hive of industry and innovation, with hundreds of tenants including O2, Mars, Virgin Media, Fiat and GlaxoSmithKline. So, Windsor might look pretty but it’s Slough that keeps your phone working, your WiFi connected and gets you from A to B.
Aside from feeling pleased with itself, Windsor’s other main industry is tourism. Twelve million trips are made to Windsor each year at the last count, with £585 million splashed by tourists during their visits. The numbers are impressive on paper but out there in the real world, these daily invasions have made Windsor unbearable. Most locals seem to hate the tourists, who’ve been descending in even bigger numbers since the Queen passed away and was buried in the castle.
I hope none of those tourists were expecting to enjoy any quaint English food because the few places that still offer such traditional fare in Windsor are completely outnumbered by the army of soulless chain restaurants that surround the castle, seeping the romance out of the view. Meanwhile, just down the road, Slough has a number of independently run eateries that offer authentic food cooked by and for locals, with more specialist food stores in one bit of the high street than the whole of Windsor.
‘Authentic’ is actually not a bad word for Slough in general. It feels real, a town that shows where England is now and where it’s going – with all the good and bad things that come with that. Windsor, meanwhile, is forever harking back to the good old days, when wives could be beheaded and we could say what we liked about the French.
Slough has its own history, of course. It brought the world the TV show Thunderbirds, the iconic Ford GT40 racing car, the Twix bar, the modern roundabout and wheelie bins. What has Windsor brought us? Plates and cups with appalling drawings of royals – plus road closures, cameras and bunches of not-quite-police officers in fluorescent vests.
Heck, even if Slough isn’t to your taste, at least its transport links mean you can get the hell out of town much more quickly than you can get out of Windsor. It has fast, modern transport links to London through the Elizabeth Line, and Heathrow is just round the corner. You can be back in London in just 20 minutes by train, compared with the hour it takes to leave Windsor.
I shouldn’t play the two towns off against each other too much. Just as sporting foes and warring siblings secretly need each other, Slough and Windsor benefit from each other’s proximity. The contrast with Slough makes Windsor look prettier and more historic, while Windsor makes Slough seem more productive and modern. Between them, they tell the story of Britain’s past and future. I feel quite at home in the middle.
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